I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
