Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
