What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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