i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
