I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
