I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
