if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
operation have a gay friend backfired
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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