I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
