I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
