we have officially lost it.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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