I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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