I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
