I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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