Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize