no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
