The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize