I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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