these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You left your underwear on the fireplace
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
