what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
