very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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