Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
