The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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