I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
