Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
