Non-Jews are for practice
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
