At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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