I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
