If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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