Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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