The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
