Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize