quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
