I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
