she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
