The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
