The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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