would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
