Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
be right there i have to get my cape
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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