I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
