when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
