question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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