...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
