Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
