I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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