I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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