Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
