my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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