We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Damn victory sex feels great
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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