I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
