I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
