it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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