bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
