Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
