they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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