My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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