You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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