Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
No subtext here. People are naked.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
