I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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