Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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