I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
