I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
