White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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