DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
