Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It's never too late to be topless.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
