Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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