That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
