I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize