The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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