Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
They are going to name an STD after you.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
