I must be too annoying 4 u.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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