Non-Jews are for practice
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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